Today is, apparently, Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day. This is amusing to me, as I decided long ago that I wasn’t going to buy into the hype anymore. Why should there only be one time of year when we resolve to improve ourselves? I want to be constantly improving -and although that’s easier said than done, the cliche goes double for the whole “New Year, New You” mentality.
This past fall I joined a gym and was enthusiastic about getting to it and exercising for several good weeks in a row. The drive was a bit of a hassle, as it was across town, but they have since built one within a mile of my house that is directly on my way to and from work. Sadly, my motivation has faltered. So when co workers asked me to do squats on Thursday, I was ready to get it back. I over exerted myself pretty badly, and walking down the basement stairs still makes me feel like I’m gonna die. Since then I’ve been battling a mix of shame and amusement at my own foolishness, and the pain has become an undeniable reminder of how sedentary I have become. I swore I’d make up for it by playing Ingress this weekend, but the less arctic temperatures have been accompanied by SNOW.
One of my comrades-in-squatting from work shared this blogger’s Google+ posts with me, and reading this one about “permanent fitness” made me want to cheer. I’m trying really hard to get back into the regular practice of exercise, and lately it’s been a real challenge. Neila Rey’s writing about loving and respecting yourself got me thinking more about my philosophy with regards to getting healthier.
As much as I have always wanted to get more fit, live a healthier lifestyle and feel better -I am so frequently confronted by the general attitude of society that I should be thinner. I should want to look better. Perfect strangers even sometimes feel the need to point out to me that I’m not attractive enough. Random (adult) people in the world have even, on occasion, told me that I was fat and had every intention of causing me harm and humiliation by doing so. I can’t say whether this incites more rage or sadness in me.
I actually like broccoli and cucumbers, so why not snack on them?
It would be great to look good, but I’m 100% more concerned with feeling better and moving more freely. Sometimes I get so tired of hearing about being “skinny” from people around me (of all sizes) that it makes me want to stop trying out of simple rebellion. I’m sure there’s some measure of unhealthy justification there, too.
(TL;DR) Long story short, I’m going to develop healthier habits that I can live with and choose not to focus on how negatively I might be judged by myself or anyone else. Every. Damn. Day. The end.